What have you had to give up?
Tags: economy, job loss, laid off, recession, unemployed
Yesterday, I met my first prospective tenant. I’m making a big change in living arrangements in order to avoid making other changes – like selling my house.
So I’m giving up my privacy. My sense of self-containment. My freedom to act, behave and express in any way I want at any time of day or night — well, within the limits my family will accept. It’s certainly not as big a change as others have had to make, and it’s probably radical in the view of some others.
What adjustment have you had to make? I thought I’d open up the question here to all. What does the new economy look like from your specific reality — and specifically what have you had to give up?
It sometimes helps us all to share – just like mom said.
Tags: economy, job loss, laid off, recession, unemployed
GmZ said:
May 07, 09 at 6:59 amI am, reluctantly, giving up my love of good food and going out to eat. Ham sandwiches and Ramen are appearing more frequently here. Hoping a good multi-vitamin fills in the nutritional gaps!
Timbo said:
May 07, 09 at 7:14 amSince my wife got laid off two months ago (she made almost double what I make), we have cut eating out to maybe once or twice a month (keep it under $30/visit), we avoid unnecessary driving to save gas and we haven’t visited family quite as much since most of them live over one hour away. Oh, and we cut down to basic cable TV, slower Internet access, cut Netflix and got library cards. Every little bit helps. But it’s easy to see how all of this can affect the economy…all these businesses receiving less business from us due to the cutbacks.
MErider said:
May 07, 09 at 7:32 amI’ve given up buying anything bike related. I really need some new jerseys and shorts, but I’m forgoing both. My Dad bought me a pair of shorts (out of fear of my being indecently exposed), but I’m not dropping any $$ until I’m employed again. I also don’t eat out as much. I do eat out very cheap and take half the meal home (for a second meal). Or I split with others. In these cases, I spend no more than $5 out. Last but not least, I’ve given up Thai massages. I love those and they are inexpensive, but they are gone as I’m not blowing money on anything superfluous.
SagePage said:
May 07, 09 at 7:36 amI’m all about the library now. We very rarely go out to the movies or buy books anymore, but we borrow from the library. A lot of libraries are even lending video games now, so that’s something new to get my mind off of things, and saves a lot of money. If my fiance loses his finance job, we may very well need to move in with family, and give up a bit of freedom. But we’re trying to hang in there a bit longer.
Tina said:
May 07, 09 at 7:42 amI did take in a roommate in March - but it was someone I knew who was facing more difficult economic times then I was. It has worked out well overall, but there have been some adjustments.
I am, by nature, a very independent and private person. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy my friends and my neighbors. We’re together most every weekend playing cards or grilling burgers. But when I’m upset, tense or facing difficulties (you know, all the things you feel after losing your job) I want to be alone. I miss having the whole house to myself once the kids are asleep. To just “be” and let my emotions go. But really, it’s a small price to pay compared to the advantages it provides. Extra money towards the mortgage and an extra set of hands to help with the heavy lifting.
Meals are no longer spur of the moment, stop at the store and pick something up. I now buy meat once a month from BJs Warehouse and my other in-between groceries at Aldis. Menus are planned for the week and my goal is always to try to plan a dinner for four for less then $1.50/person (believe it or not, many times the meals cost less then this). We eat very well, but it takes a lot of planning. Leftovers go in lunch boxes and are usually my breakfast (what can I say, I like my food—I had leftover pork loin this morning!). On the rare occasion we do eat out it’s always with a coupon and always with a budget in mind.
The biggest thing I feel I’ve given up, or maybe “lost” is a better word, is my sense of what’s “normal”. Me…a stay at home mom??? Crazy. But here I am. Me…not traveling all over the place bring home the paycheck??? Crazy. But here I am. Me…not the working powerhouse my kids have always known? Crazy, crazy, crazy. It’s not awful, and I enjoy the time with my family. We laugh together more then ever. But it is a big adjustment and has re-calibrated the image of the me I once knew.
Amber said:
May 07, 09 at 7:55 amI really have not made dramatic changes since being laid off; however, I have noticed that I am shopping, dining out and driving less
Cathy said:
May 07, 09 at 10:33 amI had a part-time nanny whom I’ve let go (she was $300 a month), so that sucks for both her AND for me, as that supplemented her income (she works in a deli), cut back on watering the grass, cut back on utilities, going to the library more, just renewed my car insurance and increased my deductible to cut down the premium, cut out Netflx and pared down the cable, and trying to get creative with bartering stuff I don’t need in my garage for things and services I do need - anyone need a nice cherry fireplace mantel (ordered the wrong size three years ago when I remodeled) in exchange for some plumbing or electrical work? Dining out less and when I get pizza for the kids it’s Little Caesar’s for $5 instead of Round Table.
Harris Graber said:
May 07, 09 at 6:10 pmI’ve given up wine and my frequent bus & train rides. I used to have wine every night. My doctor told me to have a glass or two of red wine daily. Perhaps I had a bit more. I miss it, but I save a lot by doing without. Wine is not cheap.
Taking the subway or bus to go places may be necessary, but now I question if I must indeed go anywhere. Usually, I can do what must be done without leaving my neighborhood. I live in Queens and no longer travel to Manhattan unless necessary. Sometimes, though, I do go there to take photos. That’s where most interesting things happen. If there’s a good event, I’ll still go. I’ll eat before I leave the house and not eat again until I return home. That saves money. The good thing is that I now have a Senior Citizen Metrocard. I can travel for half fare.
I no longer eat out except in some very inexpensive restaurants that also happen to be very good, but I don’t do that more than once a month, if that. It’s hard because there are restaurants in my neighborhood that I really want to try, but I don’t want to spend the money. I do get take outs sometimes. I manage to extend most take outs to two meals. It’s a good thing I know place where it’s possible to eat well for under $8. The catch? I’ve got to travel.
I now buy store brands as often as possible. I look for sales at the supermarket. I look for sales for anything I need. No sales, then I wait.
I am an avid photographer. I used to shoot both film and digital. Now, I only shoot digital. The price of film and processing is too much. I don’t even need prints. I scan negatives, but it’s still too much.
All those things save me quite a bit of money each month. I’m collecting unemployment insurance and Social Security. If I’m really careful, I can get by on that, but it’s very hard. I have to dip into my savings every month, even if it’s just a bit. If I don’t find a job before my unemployment insurance runs out, I’ve got a problem. I don’t have much savings. Maybe I’ll be able to get by for another year, but after that, I don’t know.
Fortunately, I’m renting my apartment from a good friend. She has not raised the rent since I moved in a year and a half ago. Maintenance will go up a few dollars soon and that’s how much my rent will go up. Still, this is New York City. Rents are high.
I’m also careful with my use of electricity and hot water, both of which I pay for, as well as heating. Now, I have no heating worries and I don’t mind if it’s a bit warm. I get by with a fan on all but the hottest days. I face south, so sunny summer days can be rough. All my light bulbs are energy efficient, too.
I’d rather be working now. Not knowing what will be is stressful. I realize that, given the economy, I still wouldn’t know what would be even if I were working. It’s hard times.
dbvanhorn said:
May 07, 09 at 6:14 pmAll my vehicles are not less than 10 years old. For a time I gave up auto insurance, medical insurance, and new clothes became a thing of the past. Dish network went by the wayside. The house went into foreclosure twice and I fought it back out. There was a Chapter 13 filing too, but all along I’ve kept things rolling. Family has helped and been supportive in my efforts to reinvent a career as a web savvy business guy. I have developed a company, with two, soon to be three partners, and we are about to launch an exciting new educational product which has wide market appeal.
My advice to everyone is, there’s so much crap we’re told we can’t live without, until we do… Seriously, I look at all the needless crap I see people defining themselves with and just laugh. My laptop is 4 years old. It works great…. I won’t buy another one, even though I can, until I really need one.
No offense, but I really have to chuckle at some of the posts. “Had to give up ‘NetFlix’” Wait until you can’t make school lunch money for your kids. Don’t panic when your auto insurance lapses the first time…they’ll take you back… The excuses you come up with to not attend social events get interesting because you can’t buy a gift, or afford the gas to get there. Poverty teaches priorities folks. You shop differently at the grocery store too. My social and dating life completely stopped, except for getting to my kids games and concerts. But remember this, poverty doesn’t make you a ‘bad’ person. It doesn’t make you ‘less’ intelligent, or ‘less’ anything.
That’s because none of the material crap made you any ‘more’ than you were either. You may have thought it did, but in reality, the important part was… you coached your son’s baseball team, you brought a meal to a sick friend, or you took in a loved one because that was what was needed at the time.
If your job defined your self worth…get over it folks. Let your ‘goodness’ define you, not your ‘job’.
I wish all of you a quick road back, but dump a bunch of the crap you acquired along the way….
PBSJones said:
May 07, 09 at 6:26 pmI’ve given up transportation. See, at my former job, we got free yearly bus passes, which was great since I don’t have a car. I got laid off the week before the new passes came in. I would LOVE to just hop on a bus and wander around downtown, but not if it’s going to cost me $5! I dread actually getting a call for a job interview, because I’ll have to figure out how to get there on our city’s crappy-yet-expensive public transit system. I haven’t really got anything to cut back on, except for my only “luxury,” DSL. I don’t have cable, I hardly eat any meat, I don’t have a cell phone and 8 years ago I bought a house I could afford. I don’t have a spouse to pick up any monetary slack; I’m lucky that unemployment benefits cover my bills exactly. Good luck, everyone. I really feel for those of you with kids!
Kez said:
May 07, 09 at 6:46 pmWow, where do I start…
1. We don’t go to the movies anymore or rent DVDs. We use our DVR to death with the rule that only when ALL the items on our DVR have been watched will we go get a DVD.
2. I just started cutting my husband’s hair. Not an expert yet, but I still do just as well as the terrible hairdressers he usually goes to!
3. We’re selling an investment property to cut down our mortgage where we live.
4. We live on a lot more fresh food and generic brands from the supermarket. More home made things. When we do get takeout we choose the cheapest or go where I have discounts.
5. I buy much cheaper clothes when I need them and don’t give into temptation when I don’t need them!
6. We don’t take people up on invitations to the casino or anywhere that is an instant money drainer. We don’t drink out at bars as often.
Wow, we sound really boring and unhappy! For all that we’ve had to give up my husband and I are definitely closer and we’re enjoying being together. Before he lost his job he was away for the equivalent of 2/3 of a year so for all that we’ve lost, we’ve gained a lot too.
RT said:
May 07, 09 at 6:50 pmImmediately after being laid off, I called my cable company to cancel my cable/internet service, which had been running around $150/month. After a callback from the cable company, they talked me into a $9.99/month basic cable deal, which still saved us a lot each month.
Next, we called our cell phone provider to cancel our cell service. Again, I was given options to a) reduce my plan to a less expensive one or b) place our phones on suspended status for 90 days without incurring any charges. This, hopefully, will give me time to find a job and then re-activate the phone and they won’t be losing me as a customer.
I’m finding that in these horrible economic times, many companies are willing to work with their customers to retain them and I am very thankful for this and will continue to be a customer of these two particular companies for a long time to come.
Also, I’ve given up my old dietary habits. I’ve lost 17 lbs in the 2 weeks that I’ve been laid off. It took Weight Watchers $480 and one year to make that kind of a dent in my waist line. I can attribute it all to Ramen Noodles and Water…and my former employer. Needless to say, I went to an interview today and found my suit just a little baggy.
Vanessa Loftus said:
May 07, 09 at 8:29 pmBefore I lost my job, I had a huge weakness for lunch hour clothing shopping. (Maybe because I needed to get out of the office due to an intense loathing for my job.) Now, I have a very strict budget that barely includes a trip to the Goodwill — which I only do about once a month.
I’m doing a lot more shopping at BJs, planning out weekly meals and preparing healthy sandwich lunches for my husband. We’re also not eating out much at all — except for special occasions like our anniversary. This is the one thing that really bothers me, since we love trying new foods, and unfortunately I’m not much of a cook.
I haven’t had cable TV for over 10 years, so I couldn’t cancel that, and I NEED cable internet to do any work from home (I’ve started a freelance graphic design business). The only utility I could cut back on was Netflix: which is on-hold for 90 days. Basically, anything that might be deemed a luxury has been trimmed and only purchased as an occasional treat.
DWF said:
May 10, 09 at 5:29 pmWe were double-income-no-kids so while we were never rolling in the dough, we never thought too much about saving money. Now instead of saying “Who’s making us dinner tonight?” we make ourselves dinner. This is actually an upside in a way — we’re discovering that we’re not that bad at this cooking thing, and that you can get a LOT of groceries at Trader Joe’s for not that much money. We already didn’t have cable. We stopped the spur-of-the-moment DVD rentals (Wonder how Blockbuster is doing?) and only watch what’s on our Netflix queue, which I cut down to the minimum per month (doesn’t matter — the turnaround in the mail is really fast). We think through every purchase now. We’re selling stuff on Craigslist instead of donating it automatically. We also cut out a family trip this year; just can’t afoord to do it all.
Karol said:
May 11, 09 at 12:04 pmLets see, I have had to live several months without my husband…Due to lay-offs, we are in the process of relocating. He went first out west to find work, and I can honestly say, is now working. I Have cut my cell phone, cable dow to just basics, I have cut out going out to eat, movies, and buying clothes. I don’t really miss it. I have gone back to basics, baking breads, sweets, and making fast food dishes at home. I have also been busy donating items I no longer need, use or want to charities. I have been packing up the house so I keep busy. I apply for work on line, so that I don’t waste the gas. I go to town once a week and apply for work (for unemployment verifications) and do all my shopping and bill paying before coming home to finish packing more boxes. I turn off lights I don’t need, turn on the tv for certain shows and I buy only what I need a week at a time. I am happier, though. No longer the workacholic, no longer watching what I can get done in so many hours or minutes, and not on a particular deadline that a job would entail. I am on a different schedule, deadline for the move, and oh yes, planning the best Graduation party I can for my son who will graduate in 18 days. I budgeted for everything, and saved what I could on the $64- (minus 10% for taxes)unemployment checks I got before they ran out. I am lucky. I appreciate what I use to take for granted and see this as lesson learned, a blessing, even in tough, frustrated times.
John Baxter said:
May 23, 09 at 8:07 amMan it is tough making life choices when your out of work. Now, it is more difficult to get work because the unemployment is so high and not jobs to go around with a liveable salary. Looking for better times to come soon.
Keean said:
Jun 12, 09 at 12:25 pmI does suck to have to get roommates sometimes. I personally have four right now. Its nice because I only pay 230 a month but at the same time there will never be enough hot water; dishes always in the sink, and you’ll wait in line to do laundry.
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plus 50 dating said:
Jun 29, 09 at 6:40 amI had to give up my weird habits, mostly singing unfairly loud whilst running from room to room. All gone.. all gone… haha
araya said:
Jul 02, 09 at 7:13 amThank you for information
araya said:
Jul 02, 09 at 9:00 amYeah, it must be nice.
nanny jobs said:
Jul 02, 09 at 2:22 pmWe’ve decided to eat out much less frequently than before (which actually had a side benefit of use losing weight!). We also got rid of our cell phone plans and cut our cable. And you know what? We actually feel better off now. My wife and I find we now have more time to do other things and it’s helped us focus on what’s important in life.
naree said:
Jul 02, 09 at 8:19 pmThank you for information
Mel @ Make Rain said:
Jul 17, 09 at 1:14 amI have just come across this blog, and its really informative.
I was just reading through the comments and its so sad to hear how many people have lost their jobs and how hard it is to find work now, I am very blessed to have my job, but have had to tighten my belt when it comes to spending. Times are hard at the moment but we all have to try stay positive to get through this and lets hope that it does start to come right.
Lynn Scott said:
Jul 24, 09 at 2:18 amI have read all the feed back on this page,when we express how we are feeling it is a great help and to read what others have done is soul food and makes you feel that people out there are listening.This is my 2nd recession/laid off I learned alot from the last recession,I had to sit down with my husband and family and change,many the same as your’s.what it did after six months, was let my husband and I see what we could have saved, so day by day we started to take responsibility for our actions a beeter respect for our income/worth.In this recession we are much more in tune.Open a savings account for the bad times give it a name then its more fun, if there is anything I can say to help is be grateful for what you have, the little things and what ever you do, not to lose site of that dream or the passion for life,I am calling this recession war on money so to make this fun every time I shop like you I try and get more for my money and then i feel I am one up.I wish you all good luck in you’re journey I know that I am a beetter person today.GREAT SITE
Medifast said:
Jul 27, 09 at 5:43 pmYa know before the recession hit I never really have a second thought about how much I spend on morning coffee but when you really step back and look at a full month or year’s worth of expense it’s really astounding. By making my own in the morning I save close to $1000 a year. Crazy that I spent that much and didnt even realize it.
car dvd said:
Jul 31, 09 at 12:37 amIf I want to do something,i WILL never give it up!
Eliza said:
Aug 01, 09 at 8:56 amI myself rents his apartment and live in a rented (I work in another city). In the beginning was difficult, but now feels fine. Unfortunately, for the first 3 months I was heavily depressed.
Rockco said:
Aug 02, 09 at 1:19 amI had to give up my weird habits, mostly singing unfairly loud whilst running from room to room. All gone.. all gone… haha
SF said:
Aug 06, 09 at 12:59 amThank you Eliza, you gave me the address of this blog.
Unfortunately, I do not know the English language perfectly.
jhon said:
Aug 18, 09 at 1:17 amThank you for information.I think this nice post.
DVD said:
Aug 27, 09 at 11:07 pmI like to going out to eat.
That’s it
Sell My House said:
Sep 03, 09 at 3:18 amI have given up binge drinking…nah not really lol
No infairness I have tried to cut back to the old eating out and drinking every day and focus on making money rather than spending.
Still looking at winter sun though!
Jay ‘Little House’
Fitness Tips said:
Sep 07, 09 at 12:40 pmI would like to be fired for now.
Warren said:
Sep 11, 09 at 8:42 amI have given out dining out. I only go out twice a week for drinks and that is it. I am saving up as much as I can because being self employed I dont really know what could happen from one day to another. I also gave up plans to adopt a dog primarily because of costs.
Jane @ configuration management said:
Sep 15, 09 at 2:42 amI had to sacrifice the timings i used to sleep… Usually i’ll sleep late.. but, i had to sleep early just to keep the lights off for my roomies.. I feel 10 p.m is quite early to sleep. Jane @ configuration management
Angeline @ unlock iphone said:
Sep 22, 09 at 3:16 amI had to adjust to get up early in the morning for bathing. We are 3 in room and each of us take at least 45 minutes.. so I usually get up early and finish of my chores first. Angeline @ unlock iphone
Loan Starter said:
Sep 30, 09 at 3:39 pmI’m giving up my pride…having to ask for help. The bank I submitted my loan modification kit (better known as the Making Home Affordable package), is taking their sweet time responding and from everything I’ve heard, the chances of being approved for a loan mod are slim to none. Going to eat beans and rice from now on and do a lot of praying.
Enya @ Marcus evans scam said:
Oct 10, 09 at 12:18 amThis is a good post.. i have to give up a lot of things to have a good relationship between me and my roomies..! One among the sacrifices is i have to talk silently over phone..! brbbbbbbbbbb! Angeline @ Marcus evans scam
тыия said:
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Buy UGG Boots said:
Oct 31, 09 at 10:10 pmI’m all about the library now. We very rarely go out to the movies or buy books anymore, but we borrow from the library. A lot of libraries are even lending video games now, so that’s something new to get my mind off of things, and saves a lot of money. If my fiance loses his finance job, we may very well need to move in with family, and give up a bit of freedom. But we’re trying to hang in there a bit longer.
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zygor guide reviews said:
Dec 04, 09 at 1:27 amGiving up something which is important to you is not easy, but it may bring good to you after lost, who knows?
Hellokitty said:
Dec 04, 09 at 1:30 amSometimes we may not know ourselves well, so give up some thing will renew our mind, it may not a bad thing.
Natalie said:
Dec 05, 09 at 3:40 pmI had to give up me living the good life and move in with my parents…womp womp. I blogged about it. Check it out if you want to know how it feels to be a recent graduate who has never had the chance to lose a job because I have never been given a paying job. http://nataliepr.wordpress.com/
payday advances said:
Dec 24, 09 at 5:11 pmIt would be hard to have someone you do not even know move in as a tenant or even a roomate. You just can’t go trusting anyone anymore.
Fatburningfurnace review said:
Dec 27, 09 at 7:25 pmThank you for sharing this life crisis, for my case i would have to give up my car and my vocations.
Carolyn said:
Jan 06, 10 at 10:14 pmWe have given up our weekly movie night! It’s now more like once a month. We also hardly ever eat out - and we enjoyed that - as we are seniors and felt it left us more freedom to do that more often, and not having to schlep the kids around - in and out of the car, etc. We are preparing a good amount of space in our lower level of our large home (walk out with private entrance/yard, bath, etc) for a renter. I’m researching that now. Hope to have it ready April 1st. Also, I use coupons now again the way I did when the kids were little. We also watch for ads and hit the stores on discount days, also discount days at the pharmacy. We shop smarter - not nearly as many little extras. Soon we’ll be on a fixed income and God only knows what the Medicare health benefits will be - or Social Security - both of which will likely see a “hit” soon. So, changing our lifestyle - even more - to reduce our need for expenditures on non-needed items, is another way. We don’t forsee going back to the “old ways” even with an upturn in the economy, when t hat does take place. We live in a metro area in an area of the country where unemployment rate has been close to 10% for many years and now is more than 11%, so being more frugal is going to have to be the focus.
yek said:
Feb 03, 10 at 11:49 pmI identify with “gave up my pride” ~ I asked my sister if I could move in with her & her hub. So here I am. I gave up my independence, and yes, I miss the hell out of it!
Vmrck said:
Feb 17, 10 at 1:55 pmyek-
i can relate, I may be facing giving up my independence too, it is not a pleasant thought. I’ve cut out cable, get free RX’s when I can, swallowed all my pride-got help with electric bill and applied for food stamps for the FIRST time in my life.! considering taking on a roommate (ugh)but when the savings are at zero, the credit cards are maxed out…..whaddya do? I wish you and everyone of us the best..
JamieT said:
Mar 14, 10 at 12:53 pmI think I’d find it very hard to rent a room out, especially to someone I didn’t know but tough times do indeed call for tough measures. I’m going down the route of cutting out the ‘luxuries’ like dining out and generally being more frugal – let’s hope it pays off!
trap said:
Apr 26, 10 at 3:50 pmI spend no more than $5 out. Last but not least, I’ve given up Thai massages. I love those and they are inexpensive, but they are gone as I’m not blowing money on anything superfluous.
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Эрик said:
May 04, 10 at 12:00 amВопрос к автору блога, а вот у вас время у каждой статьи и в комментах пишется… Это какое? Московское? Заранее спасибочки за ответ.
Stylish Shopper said:
May 09, 10 at 7:07 amWell, I really love shopping, but due to the recent recession, I had to cut down on my shopping expenses. My family and I also rarely go out for recreation.
We’ve coped up a bit, though. I started a new printing business, and it’s doing quite well.
Anne said:
Jun 06, 10 at 5:34 pmActually, I didn’t give up anything during this recession. Ah, maybe the sacrifice I’ve made during this recession is to settle some obligations which I can consider as an investment now.
Sharon Ron said:
Jun 17, 10 at 5:30 amI took recession as a learning curve for many things from my grocery shopping to my regular shopping. Now i only spend when i really needed it. I do not go crazy for brands and just wear anything that i feel comfortable pricewise and lookwise. Earlier, i would just go for particular brand and would not even think of something else.
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Scuba diving in the Philippines said:
Jun 20, 10 at 7:27 pmRecession affects all of the people around the world. Most of us need to tight our budget in order to support our every needs. We tend to focus of what we really need than what we only want.
San Diego Movers said:
Jul 07, 10 at 8:27 pmI didn’t know but tough times do indeed call for tough measures. I’m going down the route of cutting out the ‘luxuries’ like dining out and generally being more frugal – let’s hope it pays off!
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