Fired for Now: Getting fired, laid off, and hired again

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I’ve now realized that job security is an oxymoron. Seriously, the two words just do not go together as they once may have. So when I was offered the chance to accept a 3-month contract, there wasn’t much to think about.

Yes, I accept! You’ll take me – even if you don’t know if you want me past 3 months!

At an earlier time, I may have held out for a permanent position. (There’s another oxymoron). Yet in some pre-economic-meltdown era I would have second-guessed this about a hundred times. I would have wondered if accepting the short-term offer would mean missing out on a permanent job that was just around the corner.

But now? Is there much to think about?

A short-term contract in the hand is worth two, or ten, in the bush. That’s where most jobs seem to be, hibernating in the bush till the economic and hiring freeze is over. Perhaps then companies will emerge with leaner bellies and a renewed appetite to spend on payroll.

However, till then, and maybe even afterwards, I’m coming to terms with a different identity. An identity that’s focused more on myself than on a company I work for.

I’ve changed jobs more than I would have liked to, and at each company I worked, I jumped in with huge commitment and dedication. I was the driven, pro-active employee type, taking on a large sense of ownership, continually looking for ways to advance the company’s goals, win business, do better, improve things.

Now I feel burned and distrustful. I’m wary of immersing myself in a company’s culture and goals. Security isn’t attached to performance any longer. So a sense of working for myself rather than for someone else is appealing.

In the past, I’ve never felt courageous enough to do this on a permanent basis. I have three children and opening myself to gaps in income has always felt risky with a family. That family has grown quickly though, and I’m feeling universal forces may be combining now to give me a kick up the wazoo.

Lots of people sing the praises of freelance or consulting work. I’ve done it enough in short stints to know some of the advantages: master of your own destiny, freedom from a 9 to 5 schedule (huge for me), tax advantages, working from home in your sweats, professional independence – AND no one can fire you (at least not from a full-time job).

I also know the pitfalls. Of course, the biggest downside is giving up a guaranteed income, which requires continual self-marketing. The fear of finding myself with a serious cash flow crunch isn’t very pleasant to consider, and I also know the opposite can happen — accepting more work than is comfortable for fear of losing work from a client in the future. Loneliness can also become a factor for those who thrive on the real role that work plays in meeting our needs for community, interaction and collaboration.

But when I compare these cons to the pros, I like the idea of being master of my destiny. Especially now. My wide-eyed enthusiasm for being a company cheerleader has gone south.

This contract position should give me the wherewithal to shift my perspective and get some comfort with a self-employed identity. On contract, there’s no commitment from an employer, so you’re never quite part of the company zeitgeist. I could be looking for work again in 3 months. Heck, I may even have to start earlier if I know there’s nothing at the end of the contract.

So, I’m trying to develop a sense of being self-employed. And I like the feeling. There are trade-offs to be sure. Learning to manage a sense of uncertainty will be my biggest challenge. That, along with believing in my own abilities and a sense that things will unfold. It’s all about learning to let go of worry about a future that hasn’t yet happened. Ommmmm.